why are you so hard to find
i always look
but never find
A few years ago, I wrote a poem about waiting for the love of my life. Years after that, I thought I found him. Only to realize that we were not meant to be. Oh life, you can be cruel for sure, and unfair. But life is life no matter what happens to us. I could have let the experience make me bitter and jaded. Full of hate and self-loathing. But I didn't. Sure I was devastated and sad for a long, long, time. Actually, I am still sad. But not in the desperate I think my heart is going to come out of my chest kind of sad. It's a more stoic kind of sadness. A sadness that I believe, will stay with me always. And that's okay. I can live with that. What I can't live without is love. Not just the romantical kind. But love of family and friends and love of life. Passion for life. Love of myself. It's all very empowering and intoxicating and I love feeling this way. Oh I have my down days, but I don't let myself stay there too long. It's a buzz-kill don't you know?
As this is the week of love and heart-shaped chocolates and flowers and candle-lit dinners or beer and pizza -either works -heh. I wish you love and kisses (preferably real ones but chocolate ones work too) I hope you spread your love around. Even if you're not in a romantic relationship, don't be greedy. Share it with your family, your friends, you get what I'm saying don't you? Of course you do.
Happy Valentine's Day!