some kind of mood

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately.  This time of year does that to me.  Makes me melancholy, question my existence, where my life is at this point and where it's going.  Roads not taken.  Heavy stuff no?  But it's not like I'm depressed.  I'm not.  I'm emotional, I am going through a lot of things in my life right now.  Some good, some not so good.  The only way I know how to deal with my emotions when I get this way is to write.  It may not make one lick of sense to those that read it, or it may even sound trite, corny, or read like a bad Lifetime movie.  And that's fine if you think that.  As long as it makes sense to me and helps me get my mind clear, it's all good.  So I leave you with ramblings and bad attempt of poetry from a hopeless yet hopeful romantic in a semi wine induced state.

Till next time bloggies.

-peace.

if only
we had met
in another time
under normal circumstances
without obstacles
or dead-ends
and our love could roam free
not held captive
bound by fear of letting go
if only.
_____________________

i need to leap
no holding back
just jump
take that chance
close that door
and move on

in print it seems doable
unspoken, it becomes reality
tangible

but then there is my heart
that even with nudges
it still won't let me go

the grip you have over me
my soul
is stronger than
my will
_______________________

it is because i love you
that i must leave you
for as much as my heart breaks
my conscience
my spirit
and my soul
must be at peace.
good bye my love.
_________________________

strength where are you now?
i need you more than ever
people tell me that i am strong
and that i can handle anything
but i'm not
i am weak
and scared
i need your guts to do this
push me to that leap i must take
it's for my own good
___________________________

where is that girl? the one i know.
the one that laughs and giggles
and dreams.
where is she?
did she fall asleep?
life keeps passing her by
day in
day out
it keeps moving
the world around her waits for no one
where is that girl?
full of aspirations
ready to quench her thirst to live?
did she get lost?
spirit find her
so she can resume the dream