You just never know what going to lunch with coworkers will teach you I tell ya! It was a particularly slow day at the office and the sun was shinning, "Wanna go to lunch?" was music to my ears and so I excitedly said yes. Any excuse to get me out of the office was always a good thing -for me anyway. So there we went, my two co-workers and I to decompress from the mundane "back to work, feels like Monday but it's not, blues" That's what I hate about being off on a Monday, coming back to work is a bitch. But I digress. We went to a local spot that served the BEST burgers in the world! Ok, ok, maybe not in the "world" but certainly in the area of town we were in. Heh. Once settled in, we began our non-chalant gab fest. "How was your holiday weekend?" "What'd you do?" "Did you go shopping yesterday with all the other crazy people?" You know, questions like that. Anyway, somehow or another, I can't remember exactly why we started talking about this but we did. Talk went from molding teeth to molding penises. (is that even plural???) and then went to classes for learning how to give blow jobs -the right way. Um, I promise you if you ask any male friend of mine, they will tell you that any way is the right way. Fellas amiright? My co-worker, we'll call her Lucy, proceeded to enrich our intellect by revealing to us that there is indeed a need in this world to learn how to give head, suck cock, eh you know what I mean. Sally, my other coworker and I literally had our mouths open as Lucy told us that she had taken such a class once. It was held in a regular classroom at a local community college. I interrupted her story to ask if there were credits earned towards a degree. She scoffed at me but I was serious. Lucy is very animated when she speaks, she uses her hands a lot and her eyes. She told us that it was a class full of women and one man. Yes. A. Man. You see, her teacher taught an equal opportunity class. Alright I'll get on with it, I know you are at the edge of your chair/bed/floor. So the class was held once a week for 30 minutes for 4 weeks. Her first day she said, was a bit awkward. There was a lot of giggling and blushing and avoiding eyes amongst the masses. The teacher was gifted I suppose in the art of um, giving blow jobs. Imagine interviewing for that position er, job. There were no text books just visual aids (think cocks in all sizes from small, medium, large to extra large to extra-extra large) Now, you were required to take your own "aide" to practice on and of course the visual aides for that that teacher brought in were just for show. No touching, I mean sucking. Lucy's take on this whole class was rather comical. She said that on the first day besides getting acquainted with each other and the visuals, they also got to speak aloud if they wanted to, about why they felt they needed a class in the first place. Now some of the answers were predictable "Because I wanna please my man" and yet other answers were more insightful "I want to learn to enjoy it so my partner will enjoy it" -Pretty sure your partner is enjoying it -just saying! Tips to giving a good blow job consisted of "jawsersizing" get it? instead of exercising? Just making sure you understand. Ok, so opening and closing your jaw on the daily was one tip, another one was to treat the cock as if it were a real person. Uh, yeah that's what Lucy said. Well, that's what the teach said. Like a real person. As opposed to a fake person? Or a fake thing? The teacher meant that we ladies had to get comfortable with the penis person because that would help us to relax and enjoy it. She gave homework. Lucy told of having to suck on lollipops of various sizes. Sucking the lollipop. .licking it, kissing it. Seriously. That's what she said. Oh and as your sizes in lollipops went up your jaws were getting their sersize. Then came the licking. According to the teacher, there is an art to licking. Now that, I agree with. And that's all I'm saying about that. Moving on. The class was told to learn to be comfortable with who they were and that if they mastered the art of giving a good blow job, the world was their oyster. Ok so maybe she didn't say the last part. You know I'm dramatic. It's funny how quickly an hour goes by when you're having so much fun. We ended our lunch laughing hysterically and blushing no doubt. Well, at least me. I blush at everything. And yes more was said at that table that had us acting like hormonal teenagers but some things are better left unsaid and to the imagination. I'm not all too sure that taking such a class is necessary. I mean, in the kitchen alone there are tons of "aides" you can use or? Be old fashioned and use the real thing. After all, practice makes perfect.
This was fun. Missed you bloggies (those that are still around)