malbec, memories and me

your silence speaks volumes

loudly

clearly

piercingly

the words you didn't speak

inflicted it's pain already

no words uttered

yet i heard you 

loud and clear

there is no reason for me to stay

i leave behind only my heart

everything else is already dead

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Sometimes, the most painful thing you can say, is nothing at all.  I consider myself to be a very passionate person.  In my personal life, in my career, in causes that I believe in.  Perhaps that is why I have dedicated over twenty years to working on the plaintiff side of the law.  Always advocating for the underdog, for the victim, for the injustice.  The same goes for my heart.  I love with all of my being. I know no other way.  I trust in the same manner.  This has caused me to hurt indescribable pain.  But it has also given me immense happiness.  The thing is, sometimes you just get tired of being the doormat. So you break free.  And it feels good to be free of him people that just want to suck you dry.  And you keep moving forward because really, that's all you can do.

______________________________________________

Don't mind me bloggies. This very intense jibber jabber was brought to you courtesy of  a few glasses of Malbec and lots of memories.  Ah, nostalgia, the holidays, liquor and bad poetry.  Good times.

Come back soon, I'll be sober (ish) and in a better mood.  In the meantime, I want to hear all about everyone's Thanksgiving.  Ready? Set? Go!

Online Dating Don'ts for Dummies (and by dummies, I mean men)

I have a confession to make.  A few years ago, I was really into the online dating thing.  I joined a few different sites and proceeded to interact with potential victims dates on the regular.  No one coached me or took me under their wing when  I did this.  So I was basically treading uncharted waters with a blindfold over my eyes.  But I'm a quick learner and picked up on the online dating protocol (so to speak) fairly quickly.  So I feel it is my duty as a fellow single person to help you eligible bachelors see the error of your ways.

Ready? Let's do this.  Alright, here we go:

1.  Do not take a selfie of yourself in the bathroom while staring at the mirror. It's creepy and makes us think that you have no friends to take your picture.  This leads to us thinking you have poor social skills.

2.  If you HAVE to take a selfie of yourself and you feel you HAVE to pose in front of the bathroom mirror, for the love of god, please put a shirt on.  Your ape looking chest is not an attractive trait, contrary to what you may think.

3.  When filling out your essay, take the time to proof what you wrote and try to remember to take the caps lock off so that every word you typed DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THIS.

4.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ask a woman on a dating site, "So do you wanna fuck?" in your initial message (or subsequent messages for that matter) to her.  I mean, there are sites specifically catered to lines like, "So do you wanna fuck?" Go there.

5.  Do not ask for our work number and/or address if you've just started corresponding.  And do not insist on asking us for our work number and/or address.  This only makes you look like a potential stalker.

6.  Do not make one of your goals in life to find your "sole mate" - We'll just think you have a foot fetish and tell you they are dating sites for that sort of thing.

7.  If you are on a dating site, it's safe to assume that you actually want to date.  So please, do not start communicating with a woman only to tell her right before a date, "I am still in love with my ex, I'm hoping you will help me REBOUND " ---true story.

8.  Please DO NOT send us random pictures of your penis.  Contrary to your very delusional mind, we do not get turned on by this.  It's NOT cute. Really, it's just not.  And this will not make us want to date you more, trust me.  And again, they have sites designed just for that sort of thing.  Go there instead.

9.  Some of us take quite a bit of time and effort into writing our essays and creating our profiles.  So would it be so much to ask for you to actually read what we wrote and/or our criteria.  Why would I want to date a 19 year old?  Seriously?  My age range is specific to OVER 21 ---get real.

10.  I saved the best for last.  I recently decided to jump in and start dating again.  Or at the very least, get my feet wet. Well, I met someone.  Nice guy. (seemingly), we hit off in emails and exchanged cell numbers fairly quickly.  This guy was a professional texter.  He LOVED to text.  I prefer phone calls.  Anyway we talked almost daily for about a week and a half. During which time he asked for my work address and phone number.  The address was because he wanted to send me flowers (uh-huh) and the phone number was so that he could call me throughout the day.  (He had my cell number already)  So this guy gets annoyed when I don't give him my work number or my address.  It scared me.  He then proceeds to blow up my phone with texts every half hour or so.

9:00 a.m. "Hi sweetie, hope you're having a good day" 
9:30 a.m. "Thinking about you..."
10:00 a.m. "Uh, why haven't you replied?"
10:30 a.m. "Ok I guess you're busy, call me when you can"
11:00 a.m.  "Babe? Why are you ignoring me"

That's not a joke.  It happened. I finally called him when I went to lunch and told him to lose my number and never call me again. He told me I was being irrational.  I told him I didn't care what he thought.  And that's the last I heard of  him.  And? The whole "baby" thing? I use terms of endearment all the time. If I'm dating someone, I use them quite often.  But NOT if  I've never met you.  I don't like that, I'm not sure about other women, but that just annoys me.  So fellas, don't be so possessive or controlling. If you are, you seriously need work those issues out before trying to date someone.

So there you have it.  Take it for what it's worth.  I realize women have their own "Don'ts" out there. I'm more than certain that a few of you guys are going to point them out to me. And that's fair, but this post was specifically meant to my male audience, thanks to Number 10.  -You're welcome.  :)

And that folks, was my Monday (now Tuesday) rambling.  And for those that have been texting and/or emailing me about the Texans loss on Sunday, I don't want to talk about it.  Mmmkay???

Be good.

the thrill of victory -the agony of defeat

happy november, fellow bloggies!  can you believe we'll be talking turkey in a couple of weeks???  me either.  so what's going on kids?  share with me.

so, let's talk football shall we?  last night in what began as an exciting and promising game for my houston texans, quickly morphed into a freakish nightmare.  up 21-3 at half-time, fans all over my fair city were high-fiving, yelling in excitement and just relishing in a great, great first half.  it's been a while since we've been able to do that this season.  but all of that joy and jubilation quickly turned into worry, despair, and ultimately, defeat.  as some of you may have heard on the news or read in the paper or whatever other social media outlet you use, texans head coach, gary kubiak collapsed as he was walking off the field yesterday, at half-time.  melee quickly ensued as players, coaches, medical personnel all scrambled around trying to get him help.  when the dust cleared, coach kubiak was carried off the field on a stretcher, and rushed to a local hospital.  as of today, there are reports that he suffered a mini-stroke but nothing has been confirmed yet and he remains in the hospital for observation.  so we'll just keep praying hope for the best.  meantime, imagine being a player and watching your leader crumble like that, right before your eyes.  i'm sure, no i'm certain, that that kind of sucked the life out of a few if not all of the players. so much so, that when the texans returned to the field after half-time, well, let's just say it was like we were in the twilight zone.  the players looked the same, but acted oh so different.  and things just went straight to hell after that.  final score:  texans 24 -colts 27.  and i'm not even going to mention how a certain kicker whose only job, ONLY job is to kick the ball and make a field goal,  totally blew it, again.  no, i'm not going to mention him at all.

whoever cursed all of houston's professional sports teams, we give up.  you win.  we're waving the white flag. now take the damned curse off,  would ya please???  seriously.  fans (myself included) are growing weary and frustrated and pissed.  of course that doesn't mean i'm not rooting for them anymore.  are you kidding me? this ain't no fair weathered fan.  besides, i was an oilers fan since i was 9 years old, and a texans fan since 2002.  i am huge astros fan for crying out loud! if that's not a true fan, i don't  know what is.

meh.  you win some, you lose some.  right? right.

after i got home from the game, i was still at a loss for words (i know, i can't believe it either) and just too riled up to go to sleep. so i started surfing the internet for nothing in particular, when i came across this little number:

this was taken from a old seventies sitcom called "good times".  in this picture, the woman plays character, florida evans, who is reacting to some bad news she has just received. in despair, she throws a plate on the floor, shattering it into a  million pieces and cries out, "Damn! Damn! Damn!"  i bet a lot of houstonians uttered the same words last night, as well.

enough.

so, time change. hate it.  saturday night, part of the united states gained an hour of sleep for the next few months or so.  that's right, it's that time of year when the days are shorter and the nights are longer.  it gets dark outside earlier each day.  i.hate.it.  i love my sunshine!  plus? this time change messes with my internal clock.  i've been confused about the time since sunday morning. what time is it really?

alright kids,  i need my beauty sleep. NOT.A.WORD.

new month, new possibilities, make it happen friends, make it happen.

ciao.