What is it about Christmas that makes everyone a little sappier than usual? Is it Santa? Is it the elves? Or is it God doing his thing? I think it's a combination of all of that. With every tragedy that happens in this world of ours, I think we hang on to Christmas a little bit tighter, hoping and wishing for better times, for better lives, for better, period. Last night, as I was surrounded by family and close friends, I did a lot of reflecting and reminiscing and took inventory of my life, these past twelve months. While seemingly, my life is pretty great, there is still room for improvement and change. And rest assured I'm doing it, making it happen, but as you know, Rome wasn't built in a day and all that. So these changes and improvements in my life are going to take a little longer, which is fine. I'm where I need to be right now. Of course, there are regrets. Wrongs that cannot be made right. Words said that can never be taken back... Maybe it was the nostalgia, or being surrounded by all that warms my heart, or it being Christmas Eve, or maybe even the glasses of wine I had indulged in. Maybe it was all of that, that made me reach out to someone that I had stopped talking to, almost two years ago. I extended the olive branch and he took it. And just like that, the past couple of years without him in my life, disappeared. We cried, we laughed, we got angry and cried some more, we apologized to each other and then laughed again. It was as if all of the hurt and resentment and pride and anger and accusations, disappeared. I felt relieved and so very happy. You have no idea! It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Immediately, I felt lighter and my heart smiled again. I think the time we were apart was necessary in a way, to allow us to get over all of those feelings I mentioned. At least, that's how I like to rationalize it.
I have no idea whether our friendship can ever be the way it was. Nor am I sure that I want it to be that way again. All I know is that I have my friend back, and he has his friend back, and that's enough. For now. My PSA for the day? Right your wrongs. Forget about the past and the pain. Life is so short, so precious, don't waste it on anger. I guarantee you that you will feel a hundred times better, if you just let it go and forgive. After all, tis the season...
How was your Christmas? I feel like I've been away for a long time! It's good to be back. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday. As usual, Santa forgot a few of my things. I'm seriously going to have to send Mrs. Claus a letter of complaint. Santa's slacking! But anyway, humor me, what'd you get for being good all year???
That's it for now kids. I'm super tired and need to go to bed. Unlike some of you out there, I have to work tomorrow. Bleh! But at least it's already hump day.
Cheers!
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7 comments:
I too have righted some wrongs this Christmas season. It is a very uplifting experience. Great post!!
As they say (sort of) in Love Actually, if you can't right wrongs at Christmas, and say what's truly in your heart, when can you. Congratulations on being brave enough to reach out!
Kelli- Thanks! Isn't is just the BEST feeling? I highly recommend it! ;)
Shannon- Aww! One of my favorites -Love Actually. Thanks so much!
Funny that I should read this today. I have been trying to mend some friendships that have derailed with some success... That means we are talking, but it just hasn't returned to that place where it used to be, so it still leaves me feeling kind of empty and sad. I don't know how to push through that place of "blech" to really move forward, or if it is even possible. Maybe this is it. Maybe we will just be stuck here everafter. But, I hate that, because I don't feel better for these talks. I hate hanging up the phone and feeling more empty and more sad than I did BEFORE a conversation. There is something seriously wrong with that picture.
I just realized that I didn't tell you how happy I am for YOU that things are better in YOUR relationship. Bah. Yes, you are right in what you said. You do have to let go and forgive. Just forgive it all. It is not easy. Not everyone arrives at that place at the same time. And maybe not everyone can forgive everything. Or forgive with the same degree. I don't know. Maybe that you don't know what you have figured out: there is no peace in not forgiving. Anyway, great post. Thanks for sharing.
Robin - I totally understand how you feel. Sadly, I don't think my friend and I will ever have the type of relationship that we once had. In fact, I'm not really sure we are even still friends. Everything kind of blew up in my face a few days ago. Such is life. I have no regrets though. While I'm hurting inside, all over again, I know it will pass and I will be fine. So will you, dear one!
Christmas is a magical time and will always be whatever we make it to be. I'm glad you had a nice holiday season. We did too around here, for really the first time in a long time. Hope the New Year is a great one for you!
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