Tonight, (Saturday) I was supposed to have my big birthday bash. The sexy dress bought weeks ago, the killer shoes ready to be shown off, and make me look taller in the process, the proper undergarments laid just so, the hair, cut and styled, and what happens? Rain happens. A.WHOLE.LOT.OF.RAIN. The party was being co-hosted by the Musketeers, aka as Michelle and Maricela. We decided that the dismal weather was not going to let up and rather than having to be out in that crazy mess, we rescheduled The Trifecta Party, for next Saturday. Yes we named it. You see, our birthdays are so close together that we decided to have one big party, rather than three separate ones. So I named it The Trifecta Party. -Pretty cool right? Right. Just agree with me dammit! But alas, there were grumblings from the masses. As soon as I posted it on Facebook (because you know it's not really real, until that's done), my phone started blowing up with calls and texts and oh yes, of course my wall on Facebook. Some of our invited guests were just beside themselves with ire, for the date change. Some were ok with it and others even welcomed the changed date. Especially the ones that had previously declined. Now, they will be able to make it. My sister included. See? A silver lining in everything.
And so, since the only logical thing to do on a rainy Saturday night is to open a bottle of wine and write, here I am. I've got a little jazz playing in the background and the rain outside, to complete my version of: "Fun Saturday night".
Let's move on. So earlier in the day, after working on one of my stories for a few hours, I took a break and just sat on my sofa, and watched the rain fall. My mind wandered to what else? Men, of course. I thought it apropos to take an inventory of the men that have come and gone in my life, on this the third day before my birthday. No not the notches on my bedpost. Get your mind out of the gutter, freaks. I'm talking about my ENTIRE roster of men, ever. I gotta tell you, I impressed myself. Seriously. Not that there are that many, no, I am referring to the fact that with the exception of two men, all of the others have been much, much younger than me. Wow! The youngest man I dated was 15 years my junior. We had amazing sex. He hailed from New York but loved his Mets, -I overlooked that because of the great sex thing, had a great accent (not all NY'ers do) and knew what he was doing, in every sense of the word. Then there was the lawyer guy. He was 9 years my junior. He taught me how to gut a fish. He was also the most incredible human being I have ever met. Then of course, there was HIM, he was 11 years my junior. He was my "bad boy", and he made me feel things, I never thought possible. I fell in love with that one. We didn't date. Our pseudo relationship was merely for encounters of the sexual kind. At least, in the beginning. Then my emotions got in the way and things went, well, they went. He was sexy as hell, and loved Shakespeare and the Beasties. And he kissed like one I've ever known. Sigh... If I continue going down this path, I am going to need a shower and/or a therapy session soon. Let me stop now.
I've come to the conclusion that at my ripe old age of 45 (for a few more days anyway) I am just as baffled with this species, as I ever was. While they are amazing creatures, I can't seem to crack the code that will lead me to the man I am supposed to be with. Don't misconstrue, I have a blast meeting them and dating them, but as you know, after a while, even the most tempting apple, goes stale. As I've gotten cough, older, cough.(boy that hurt me) I've become more selective, I take my time but I don't waste my time either. Mine or his. Fair is fair after all. If I'm interested, I tell him. If I'm not, I tell him. I don't have time to play games. I don't want to actually. Life is short and games get manipulated and often times, someone inevitably winds up getting hurt. A close friend of mine asked me recently, how that was working out for me -this new way of dating. She was being sarcastic of course. I've not dated anyone long term, in ages. I had a few dates with Ball Cap Guy No. 2 recently, but that fizzled rather quickly. Nothing bad happened, it just didn't work out. So now, I've got my married friends, scurrying about, trying to find one of their "single" friends. You know, the endangered species -as I like to refer to us. While I appreciate the gesture, I cringe at the thought of yet another blind date or set-up.
This wine is delish! You can never go wrong with a nice glass of Malbec.
Where was I? Oh yeah, men. Hmm, I am just going to continue enjoying the ride. Whatever happens, happens and go with that. I'm sure there will be more inventory of my life in the next couple of days. I do this every year. Look at what I've done, what I haven't done. It's not always pretty to be accountable to yourself. But it's something, I believe, that is necessary for us to live happily. It's a kind of cleansing, if you will. Does that make sense? Lie and say it does.
Alright kids, I've babbled on long enough. I'm about to finish this glass of vino and jump into bed.
Do me a favor, have a great Sunday.