It has been said that we are our own worst enemy. I believe this to be true. Why else would I sabotage my relationships, platonic, romantic, family, friends? What other explanation could there be? For years now, I have been known to stand in my own way of getting ahead, taking the leap (whatever “leap” it may be at that time), facing myself, my truths, owning who I am. It is almost as if I am running away, but at the same time, holding myself captive to moving to the next level. I am a big talker, a dreamer, a procrastinator. The world is passing me by and I am just sitting on the sidelines, watching it. Why? Why do I constantly do that? I do it all constantly. In my career, with my writing, with my goals. That's why I was so proud of finishing that boot camp a few months ago. It seems I start projects all the time, but never finish them. What am I so afraid of? Failing? Succeeding? Both?
What is it that drives us to do what we do?
I watched a Lifetime movie today, I don’t remember the name of it but watching it was like looking at myself in a mirror. And as we all know, mirrors don't lie. The truth hurts, we all know this. No one wants to face it, but we all kind of have to eventually. Or not, and then get stuck in a permanent case of déjà vu, as is what happened to the character of the movie I watched. Luckily, that character was able to figure it out before she lost everything. In the end, she wised up and emerged a success, but more importantly, she fought for herself and reclaimed her life.
Before we can move on, or get the ball rolling, whatever the case, we must first learn to face the truth. Look into that mirror and face ourselves, see ourselves for what we are, what we have become and what we have yet to be. And then figure out why. Why are we stalling? Because life is not going to stop. It’s not going to go back and let you start over. All we have is right now. What I did earlier today even, that’s gone now. It’s passed. I have now, to practice what I preach, to walk the walk, as it were.
Do you? Have what it takes to do the same? Or will your life stay in limbo?
More than anything, I wrote this for me, to hold myself accountable. I am my own worst enemy. I need to conquer my fears of failure that engulf me. And I'm asking you to join me in my journey. I promise you, if nothing else, it will be humorous. And who doesn't love a funneh?
As I stated earlier, I talk a good talk! But I’m running out of time. I need to walk that walk! I know that it will take a lot of trial and error and a lot of determination for my life to go the way I dream it should go. I think that if I can do it, so can you. It’s a choice. Do or die
We’re worth it don’t you think?