Thursday, May 26, 2011

Small talk

A few weeks ago I went to a friend's dinner party.  It was an intimate group of  about 12 people.  Some were couples, and some were not.  Good times! Well, during this little soiree a male friend, we'll call him "John" asked me how it felt to be "still" single and "kidless" not to mention the dreaded "over forty".  Now, normally I would have given him a smart-ass response because his questions would have pissed me off.  But I was feeling pretty mellow and had a nice buzz going (Thank you Cesar, the host, for those yummy mojitos.) I thought about my response and finally answered his stupid questions.
"Well, I can have the remote all to myself. I don't have to rush home to cook for anyone else. I can come and go as I please. I don't have to take anyone else's feelings into consideration but my own. I can sleep on either side of the bed. I have the Sunday paper all to myself -ahhh bliss! I can sleep around if I choose to..."

His eyebrow went up. A-ha! I had his undivided attention now.  "What?" He asked, his eyes twinkling.  I could almost see the lusty thoughts going on in his feeble little mind. Men are so simple. So anyway, I smiled back at him and said, "Well, men have been doing it for years and years. Sleeping around. Wham, bam thank you mam! And sometimes NOT EVEN a "thank you mam"! So why can't women do it? I don't have children or a husband or a boyfriend. I don't even have a pet!  I have no one to answer to but myself. If I want to have sex with men from here to Dallas and back why can't I?" He looked at me for a long time and said, "You're right. You are absolutely right." Then he proceeds to ask me out. Hahha! That's so NOT going to happen. As a single female (over forty or not!) I still have the choice to say yay or nay. I voted no and told him so. He looked disappointed but regrouped quickly and then asked, "So how about we just have sex then?" He was smiling at what he thought was a great response!  Silly boy. I flirtingly smiled at him and in my sexiest voice told him I was not interested, but thanks and off I went in search of another mojito.

7 comments:

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

It really is true that women have the real upper hand in any man/woman relationship! As i always say: if a woman is just looking for a guy to take care of her and give her material things, that's easy. The true love of two equals- that's a little more difficult. Never settle, and enjoy the mojitos along the way. Silly boys!

Jennifer Hillier said...

I went from horrified to laughing reading your post! Horrified because people really do ask that, don't they? My best friend is single and 36, and her response to the "How does it feel to be over 35, single, and childless?" is a breezy, "I don't really worry about it - my lovers keep me way too busy."

And then I laughed because I think you handled yourself really well. Wherever he is, he's kicking himself.

David Batista said...

Haha, great respone Yvonne. Only you! :)

You can't blame a guy for trying, though. In his mind, you pretty much implied you were as open and free-wheeling as any dog/man is. So he probably thought: Oh yeah, done deal!

When you turned him down, I'm sure it left him reeling all night trying to figure out what the hell just happened. LOL!

ISRAEL CARRASCO said...

Silly Rabbit tricks are for kids. That's funny. People are so dumb in social settings I swear. That's why I lay low in public.

Belle said...

What a rude question! You handled that just right.

Yvonne said...

YRJ-Exactly!

Jen- haha! I know, boys are dumb!

David- hahaha, i try, i try!

Israel- Some people are, but then every once in a blue moon, you meet people who are nice! Silly rabbits, indeed! :)

Belle- haha! thanks!

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Why do people think it is alright to ask such stupid questions unless they are trying to make you feel inadequate
or put you down in some way. So I have to say I love your response and why is it that men think you will want to screw them just because they ask you.........