Tuesday, March 8, 2011

This Dating Life...

I read an interesting article today, (courtesy of one of the Musketeers, Maricela)  For those that are new to this blog, I have two very close friends in my life that I named, "The Musketeers" -there are three of us you see.  One is named Michelle and the other is named Maricela, oh and then there's me.  But you knew that. Got it? Ok, I'll continue.  So anyway,  the article I read was about the benefits of being single.  Basically, to be grateful for your life and for all the things you can do while you're not in a relationship or dating.  The writer listed activities that we as single people, are able to experience and explore.  She didn't write anything that I didn't agree with.  In fact, I was all too familiar with what she was saying.  There was one line that struck a chord with me.  I don't have the exact phrase but it said something to the effect of "even people in a relationship can be lonely."  And I know this to be so true.  Not by experience, but just by watching some of my friends or acquaintances, or strangers even, who are in  relationships either by marriage or just dating.  I listen to some of their stories about always being alone even when they are not.  Or I hear about the fighting, the lying, the jealous outbursts.  Listening to stuff like that makes me sad and actually, kind of relieved I'm alone.  But that only lasts for a little while.  Because then the case of the "lonelies" take over and my heart craves.  

The rest of the article encouraged you to make a list of  what your benefits to being single are and why you should embrace them.  Here is a small list of some of my benefits, in no particular order:

1.  I don't have to answer to anyone but myself.
2.  I don't have to cook for anyone, including myself, if I don't want to.
3.  I can take trips at a moments notice.
4.  I can walk around my apartment butt-naked if I wanted to.
5.  I have the entire Sunday paper to myself. (If you know me, you know this is very important!)
6.  No one is around to try and grab the remote from me.
7.  I have the entire bed to myself. (though, that can get old sometimes)
8.  I can get seated quicker, if it's "table for one" versus "table for two".

And there you have it.  Those are some of my "benefits" to being single.  Sure, there are some married people reading this who may be thinking, "You have it made!"  but really, "The grass is always greener" mentality works both ways.  Those who are single, want what those that are in a relationship have and vice versa.  At least, that's what I'm thinking.

What about you? Care to chime in?


Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

LOL. I can definitely relate to this dating life. (That is, there's nothing there.)

Cinderita said...


Yvonne said...

LMAO! I hit "publish" by accident! I wasn't finished. But yeah, I see your point!


Chris Rock said it best: Either you are single and lonely or married and bored. It's simplified but there is some truth to this.

Jenner said...

I saw this post when it was only a subject line and it made me LOL!

Anonymous said...

I don't have to tolerate anyone when I'm in a bad mood, PMS'ing, gasy, etc.

I can have meltdown cry moments without answering all the "whats wrong" questions.

I can dance like an idiot to my music without anyone laughing at me.

I don't have to make conversation when I'm LOVING a book and just want to read.

How could I fit in friends, family, work, blogging, AND a relationship anyway!? hahaha.

Those are some that just popped into my head. :)

David Batista said...

Like they say: "The grass is always greener on the other side."

Like with anything in life, being single is what you make of it. If this is the state you find yourself in, make the best of it. Same for those who are married. Try you best to make it work.

Really, anything more than this is asking too much of ourselves.

KayC, The Quiet Storm said...

"even people in a relationship can be lonely."

That is so very true and I like the points. But everyone thinks the grass is always greener. It brings to mind the gospel commercial a long time ago when the preacher said "...but if you water your grass, it'll be just as green."

Belle said...

I get what you are saying. When my first marriage fell apart, I was alone for 4 years (well, I had my kids). It was the first time I was ever lonely in my life and it was uber painful. So, I get married again and we fought so much I missed being single! LORD, what a mess. We get along now, but for 10 years we fought about my kids and everything else.
Now, he watches TV constantly and pays no attention to me at all. This is why I am blogging, so I have someone to talk to! I love him, and he loves me, but I am basically alone and lonely.

I got no advice, Yvonne. You struck a nerve I guess. I really want you to be happy forever with someone and I hope it happens some day. Most people are smarter than me so I'm sure you will be happy in a marriage.
I shouldn't post this, but what the hell.

Yvonne said...

Israel - Always the optimist! haha!

Jenner - glad you got a good laugh out of it. i'm funny even when i am not trying to be! lol

Jewels- I loved your list!

David - Your reply is simple yet there is a lot of truth to what you wrote. Make the best of your situation ---that's the best anyone can do!:)

KC- I like that verse. I'm very familiar with it too.

Belle- Aww, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. And I'm glad you decided to post this. It's a good day when somethign I write strikes a chord with you or anyone else. That being said, my mom was in a marriage like yours for a long time. It sucked the sparkle. out of her eyes. You should talk to your hubby. Let him know how you feel.

Belle said...

Thanks, Yvonne. Yes, we have had many talks. We just don't have anything in common any longer. I will say he tried a few times to do things with me but it didn't work out.
It is nice to cuddle and have his support when I am going through a difficult periond. He is very supportive.
I think things went wrong for us when he got ill and we could no longer go camping and hiking. That was the only thing we had in common. It wasn't his fault, of course. But people need to have similar interests in order to want to spend time together. His eyes glaze over when I talk about my interests, and my eyes glaze over watching movies with him.

Sunny Dee said...

Amen sister! lol This is so true, thanks for sharing. :)

Cinderita said...

Thank goodness I came back! LOL!! That was so funny when all there was, was the subject line! Oh here I go again. bahahahahaha!

As for me?

1. I can have popcorn for dinner if I want.
2. I can wear my very holey, worn, ripped, favorite Great Big Sea sweatshirt and not worry about whether it looks hot on me or not.
3. I am used to wearing lingerie to bed for me...(that'll come in handy)
4. I can stay up all night reading..in bed.
5. I have really high thread count WHITE sheets w/o having to worry about manly sweat stains.
6. I can watch Glee from start to finish

that's just some of them.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

LOL, sorry for the earlier comment. I've done that a number of times myself. I'm glad I came back. Thanks for this empowering post. Yes, there are many benefits to singlehood. A woman can be happy and at peace without a man, sometimes even more so.

Yvonne said...

Belle - :) I hope you it gets better.

Sunny Dee-anytime!

Rita- haha, I'm glad you came back to look again! No. 5 cracked me up! It's soooo true!!!

RR- No need to apologize, it was really funny! Glad you liked it!

Anonymous said...

There are some benefits to being single and to being in a relationship. I guess whatever stage you're in you have to look at the benefits :)

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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