Monday, November 8, 2010

Everything to Offer

When I wake up in the mornings I thank God for another day.
When I go lay down at night, I pray for a peaceful sleep.
It's what happens in between that has me in uproar.

For as long as I can remember, I've been asking God for love to come into my life. More specifically, a man. To love me. To be with me. To want me. To respect me. To protect me. To be my friend, my lover, my confidante. Sigh, God must be pretty busy, I am still waiting...

I'm almost ashamed to admit it but I get jealous sometimes at perfect strangers mind you, You know the ones, the couples. The ones that are speaking so low only they can hear what they are saying. The ones that can't keep their hands off of each other. The ones that are holding hands while wandering through the streets... Yeah, the little green monster comes out and takes over me! Why can't I have that? Why not me? What's wrong with me??? --that's what happens when the "monster" gets out. I can't help it. I'm only human and I too have wants and desires that need to be met.

I don't always feel this way. Most of the time I'm peachy keen. I blame it on the time change and the upcoming holidays. While I love, love, love them, I tend to get a bit sad during these times as well. It can be a vey lonely time. Sigh, but this is not a "feel sorry for myself" post. I'm just vening a little.

Smiling at the endless possibilites that is my future. Stay tuned!


Shady Del Knight said...

The holidays can be rough, Yvonne. I always get the blues at this time of the year. It certainly doesn't help to see dreamy eyed couples in public displays of affection. They seem to come out of the woodwork when you are most vulnerable. All I can offer is what I wrote in a previous comment. As miserable as you might be feeling at any given moment you must remember that there are countless people who have it worse...much worse. Those people need a friend. They need your help. Share yourself with people in need and you will enrich your own life and experience joy. I have found that people who give unconditional love to others tend to attract romantic love into their lives. The kind of love you seek will come to you when you stop stalking it.

Cinderita said...

I love this post Yvonne. Thank you for sharing. It's funny because I was just over at Average Girl's blog reading "The Grass isn't always Greener". If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. And just like I shared on her comments, everyone's experiences of their lives are different from another's. I too am single and can't wait for love to find me. And my life is full and rich and filled with love. That's what I love. I hear you sister friend. I got it. I'm not going to say "he's coming" or "it will happen when it's meant to happen" because when I hear that, I usually wanna kick someone in the hole for saying it...:-) What I will say to you though, is I totally get it. Period.


Belle said...

When I was alone with my two girls, I used to pray for a husband too. I didn't find one until I said to God, "I'm leaving it all up to you. If I never have anyone again, that's ok, it is up to you." Soon after he sent my present husband to me.

I do wish he had also sent a book of instructions along with the man!

Trust God to work in his own time. Trust him that he has a beautiful plan for your life, either with someone or without someone.

Yvonne said...

Cinderita - I'm glad you like this piece! And I did read The Grass Isn't Always Greener! I liked it too! OMG I hate when people tell me those things too!!! lol

Shady - You've not said anything that I don't already know or am aware of friend! Sigh, it's just the approaching holidays. But you're right in saying that we must focus or refocus our energy on giving of ourselves to others. I hear that loud and clear and am in the process of putting that into play as we speak -or read this! lol

Belle - You too, are also right! Again, it's just me being a little melancholy and thinking about the upcoming holidays is all. But yeah, I need to stop trying to drive and let God take the wheel! :)