Sunday, October 10, 2010

Gyros, Vino and Men, Oh my!

I had an interesting conversation with one of my girlfriend's today. We were surrounded by Greek gods! (ok not really, but since were we were at a Greek festival, there were many, many good looking men there and we decided they were all Greek!) The topic of our conversation? Men of course! In this conversation, we explored the great mystery of why men act interested in you and shower you with attention and charm you and get your hopes up, only to disappear from the face of the earth almost immediately? Last weekend (yes my birthday weekend) I met someone, had the most awesome 3 hour conversation, exchanged numbers, and said our goodbyes. For the next few days after that, communication was constant, at times instantaneous. We both agreed that there was a mutual interest. Yay! (my inner voice reaction) Then, from one day to the next (literally)he disappeared. I say disappeared because I never heard from him again. I called, left a message and text messaged him as well. No response. Which leads me to believe, he lost insterest or was just playing with me. I don't know. My friend thinks it's just a game men play. If that's true, why not just be upfront? Why disappear? I get that sometimes they lose interest or whatever it is that happens to them, but why not just say so? "Not interested", "Was just a joke.", "I'm a jerk,it's what I do." I mean anything is better than the disappearing act. Disappearing just makes us wonder and draw insane conclusions! Meh! So that was kind of weird. My girlfriend says we need to play the same game. But again, I don't like playing games. Well, that's not entirely true. I've done that disappaering act" too! But I felt bad about it and apologized. Ok so it was months later, but I still apologized! Situations like this make me feel less inclined to give another guy a chance. I mean, meeting men, dating, that's so complicated these days! I know not ALL men are the same and I know that I'll meet someone eventually (one can only hope! lol) that won't disappear! But to get to that Prince, I have to date a lot of frogs. And lets be honest here, my frog quota is way, way over the limit! So that's it. Men are exasperating and frustrating, but they are also oh so charming when they want to be.

"Lets go get some Baklava." said my friend, and with that, we finished our last sip of wine and went in search for our pastry.


Belle said...

This really sucks.

Shady Del Knight said...

This is such a coincidence because I happen to be a Greek God! (LOL)

As a friend I am sharing with you my "secrets from the enemy camp." Men typically have very short attention spans. They get distracted by whatever or whoever is in front of their noses at the time. It's how we're wired. Men also need constant reassuring that they still got game. As soon as they are finished basking in the attention and validation offered by one woman they move on and get their fix with another. Genetics is one thing but there's no excuse for bad manners. It's wrong for men or women to hide behind the "all's fair" philosophy and treat people poorly.

You already hinted at the only real solution. Keep being the best that you know how to be and keep meeting more and more people. There's no such thing as too many.

I am reminded of the door-to-door salesmen that were in abundance decades ago. Think of the mental toughness it required for a salesman to knock on countless doors and try to sell something to a stranger. In reality the salesman was selling himself as much as the product because people make a buying decision based on emotion. Masters at the art of reframing, the most successful salesmen were the ones who actually welcomed rejection. They knew that every time a customer slammed the door in their face it meant that they were one step closer to the one who would buy what they were selling.

Author, champion salesman and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar has pearls of wisdom that apply:

"Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street."

"If you go looking for a friend, you're going to find they're very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

"If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost."

Yvonne said...

belle - yes my friend, it truly does suck.

shady - you should have been a therapist! lol

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