Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The "Bad Boy" Syndrome

What is it about the "unattainable" that makes us want it even more? I was speaking to a couple of male friends of mine on Friday night and both of them agreed that women are attracted to the "bad boy" for various reasons, the top two being the "danger" he may bring and the "excitement" he may provide to our otherwise boring life. -Okay, so I'm not quoting word for word but that was the gist of what both of my guy friends said. Is that true? I must admit, I too am attracted to the "bad boy" at times. In fact, it was the reason this entire conversation took place. I am currently going through "bad boy" withdrawal and they -my buddies, wanted to make me "see the light". Alas, it didn't happen but we had a great conversation nonetheless!

So I pose this question, "What is the attraction to falling for the "bad boy" syndrome? In my case, I was immediately attracted to him, and once I got to know him, I was pretty much lusting for him. And so it goes. The thing is, I can't have him. He's more like a fantasy slowly becoming an obsession. -For me. Yes he excites me, and yes there is a bit of "danger" having him in my life (however minuscule that may be) and yes, he knows and yes, he doesn't care. Pathetic isn't it? Of course it is. Which is why I'm trying to figure out what the allure is to this type of person?

One of my guy friends asked me what my ultimate goal was for this person. My "ultimate goal"??? Seriously? I laughed because I don't have an agenda. I mean, I know what I would like to have happen but I'm not fooling myself into thinking that it will EVER happen. Both of my friends asked why almost immediately. To which I responded by saying that this guy was way out of my league.

Out of pity or probably because we were well on our way to no longer being sober, they ordered another round and proceeded to tell me to "snap the hell out of it!" lol I know they mean well, and I know I need to snap out of whatever it is I'm under but I can't. It's almost something bigger than me. The best way I can describe it is having an indescribable thirst and nothing quenches it, not water, not juices, not anything, except that person that you desire. Sigh, it's not a good place to be in. I realize this but once you're in this abyss, how do you get out?

In my case, I know nothing will ever come of this attraction, crush, fantasy, -whatever you want to label it. I know in my heart that it is what it is and nothing more. What I wish someone would shed light on is "Why the attraction?" -especially if that attraction or those emotions are not reciprocated? Why? Because I'm a masochist and love to suffer? Because I just want what I can't have?


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