Saturday, December 31, 2016

Farewell 2016


Driving home tonight, I was listening to the radio (yes, I still listen to the car radio) and Auld Lang Syne came on.  That song always makes me sad.  I don't really understand it half the time.  Just that it makes me sad.   I think the song is toasting to "old times", "remembering", and "new times".  At least, that's what I think it means.  Well friends, 2016 is just about done.  So many people I know and people I don't know are so very happy to see this year finally be over.  I'm one of them.  While this year was not totally disastrous for me, it did prove to be quite daunting, disheartening and over burdened at times. But hey it wasn't all that horrible, I managed to turn fifty in October. Fifty.  Wow, even in text it feels surreal that I'm half a century old.  I feel just as I did at twenty-five but not as na├»ve or gullible.  So you see friends, the year was not a total nightmare.  So many other things happened, where do I even start?  I know, I'll tell you what didn't happen.

I didn't lose 100 lbs as I wanted to and honestly believed I would achieve by my birthday.  I only lost 40lbs but I still rocked the sexy dress at my party.  My Prince Charming did not appear on his horse ready to trot me away to happily ever after.  No, I think he's lost -maybe permanently.  Instead in his place appeared Sir Liar, Sir I'm Bipolar But Won't Take Meds, Sir Overly Jealous, Sir Irresponsible and oh yes, lest I forget, Sir Married man er, men.   Lucky aren't I?  Heh.

Let's see, what else didn't happen?  Well, much to the disappointment of my father, I didn't win the lotto.  I can't bring myself to tell him that I actually never bought a ticket of any kind.  I mean, why break his heart after all?

The Astros did not make it to the playoffs but hey, as of today, Opening Day is less than four months away.  -Silver linings everywhere.

But 2016 did bring about some pretty nifty things.  In June my family and I took our annual vacation.  We went back to Cancun and for six glorious days, sun, fun and relaxation was ours for the taking. Great times, family bonding and beautiful memories were made.

As I stated earlier, I turned 50 in October and decided I would face this new era of my life with a big party.  And that is exactly what I did.  It was held at a very swanky hotel in their "club/bar"  There was plenty of champagne, dancing, family, friends, cake and laughter.  It was a very memorable night and I loved every minute of it.  Even the slight  collosal hangover I experienced the following morning.

November brought about the much anticipated Presidential election.  And let me just say, this was the ugliest, most divisive and hate filled election I have ever experienced in my entire adult life.  This is an experience I never want to go through again.  Without going into specifics, let me just say that I pray with every fiber of my being that our divided nation will come together peacefully.  One day.  Hopefully, that one day, will be in my lifetime.

And finally, two weeks ago I had to have emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder.  I didn't have stones but I was experiencing severe and nauseating pain.  An ultrasound revealed that my gallbladder was enlarged and could burst at any given time.  So on December 12th I was admitted to the hospital.  Thankfully, everything went smoothly.  But let me tell you, once the wonderful pain meds wear off OH.EM.GEE!!!  I was crippled with pain and was walking like I was a 90 year old woman with severe arthritis.  I'm not joking.  Getting better has proved daunting at best.  I'm two weeks post op and still not fully recovered but am back at work.  So needless to say, my Christmas kind of sucked but not too, too bad. 

And here we are on New Years Eve-eve.  Anxiously awaiting to bid adieu to this most weird rollercoaster of a year that was 2016.  And so, I wish all of you a very, very happy new year.  May 2017 bring you love, prosperity, good health and laughter.  You always have to have laughter.

I was not around these parts much this year.  I could lie and say I was insanely busy.  But I wasn't.  Life just gets in the way sometimes and really, I just didn't have it in me to blog much.  But hope springs eternal right?  So keep coming back, I may surprise you in 2017.

Happy New Year bloggies! 

peace.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

some kind of mood

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately.  This time of year does that to me.  Makes me melancholy, question my existence, where my life is at this point and where it's going.  Roads not taken.  Heavy stuff no?  But it's not like I'm depressed.  I'm not.  I'm emotional, I am going through a lot of things in my life right now.  Some good, some not so good.  The only way I know how to deal with my emotions when I get this way is to write.  It may not make one lick of sense to those that read it, or it may even sound trite, corny, or read like a bad Lifetime movie.  And that's fine if you think that.  As long as it makes sense to me and helps me get my mind clear, it's all good.  So I leave you with ramblings and bad attempt of poetry from a hopeless yet hopeful romantic in a semi wine induced state.

Till next time bloggies.

-peace.

if only
we had met
in another time
under normal circumstances
without obstacles
or dead-ends
and our love could roam free
not held captive
bound by fear of letting go
if only.
_____________________

i need to leap
no holding back
just jump
take that chance
close that door
and move on

in print it seems doable
unspoken, it becomes reality
tangible

but then there is my heart
that even with nudges
it still won't let me go

the grip you have over me
my soul
is stronger than
my will
_______________________

it is because i love you
that i must leave you
for as much as my heart breaks
my conscience
my spirit
and my soul
must be at peace.
good bye my love.
_________________________

strength where are you now?
i need you more than ever
people tell me that i am strong
and that i can handle anything
but i'm not
i am weak
and scared
i need your guts to do this
push me to that leap i must take
it's for my own good
___________________________

where is that girl? the one i know.
the one that laughs and giggles
and dreams.
where is she?
did she fall asleep?
life keeps passing her by
day in
day out
it keeps moving
the world around her waits for no one
where is that girl?
full of aspirations
ready to quench her thirst to live?
did she get lost?
spirit find her
so she can resume the dream